MAGNUM

Part One

“Man make love then go war [sic] then jealous beat up adversary and steal his wealth and his woman.” Bukowski

Four females I know have reported recent and fairly unpleasant run-ins with Art Jocks (AJs). To the uninitiated it works like this: girl (Art Chic) walks into restaurant/bar/museum/bingo parlor. AJ and his friends all snigger and turn their backs on said girl, who was an ex-girlfriend/lover/shag, and (once) a mutual friend. AJ and his friends exchange very sly knowing looks, cough, roll their eyes and bad mouth said girl (AJs do this in an animated whisper), who has now gone to sit by herself in the corner for, by the look of things, being into necrophilia, DP, scat, etc. Girl is made to feel as uncomfortable as possible; if she looks in their direction or makes eye contact, she gets ‘X-Rayed’: when someone literally looks through you because you don’t exist. [I’ve met a couple of Michaelis (ex) students, who are really, really good at this (all academies, even ones filled with science nerds, pick students that are able to do ‘the look’).]

Boy gang mentality would have it that once the fling/affair/shag is over, every sex position, ingrown toenail, pubic hairstyle, etc. is open to the public. The more serious the relationship, the more violent the reaction once it’s over. Few self respecting AJs get over it quickly and amicably: most moan and mop around for months. The smarter more manly ones do this to avoid any form of commitment (operation ‘wuss puss’) while getting laid by as many broads as possible (operation ‘sorry ass’). Either way, allowing their boys to strip search their exes with their eyes is somehow satisfying, “She’s been thrown into the trash, gentlemen, worth nothing anymore, a dirty old hag, a rag doll I’d wipe my ass with. Do with it as you please. Just for gods sakes keep it away from me!”

This is heavy artillery. AJs’ pussy footing prevents ACs (and there are many) from identifying a common enemy and tainting all potential stock; AJs are also highly adept at propaganda, in most instances having it on with as many women as possible, or acting rude, sexist, narcissistic and rough shod in female company, while appearing ‘artistic’, ‘cool’, ‘vulnerable’, or ‘valiant’. The better ones play the “every man a woman wants to change” card: a lover of all women: “You know I know you know?” A final category act rude, sexist, and narcissistic because they either cannot get laid, or feel a stone age urge to lord it over the ladies.

I wish to get in touch with my feminine side. Women brave or psychotic or stupid enough to be at the receiving end of the above - what do they do? What is their arsenal against this well oiled, slick, strongman boy gang collective machine that bounces around town on Good Year testes, fuelled by the almighty testosterone?

Suggestions: a) boobs b) jealousy – new guy c) giggle/plot in turn with female friends (‘dick stompers’) d) preempt – grow dead sexy, dump his ass and know that you’re in control because you’re his rage e) none of the above – provide other